Why You Can’t Switch Off After Work
The Evening Reset Guide: How To Actually Switch Off After A Long Day
Have you ever finished work, left the office and still felt as though you never actually left?
Even when you get home, make dinner, answer a few messages and put on a show in the background, part of your brain still feels like it’s somewhere else. Your thoughts shift between the work meetings you had, remembering an email that you should have sent or already worrying about the deadlines you need to meet the next day. The work day did end, but somehow you just can’t take your mind off it.
This is how quickly an evening at home can pass by without you ever falling into a true state of rest. You’re home and technically off the clock, but your mind is stuck in work mode. By the time your mind has slowed down, it’s way too late and you have just enough time left for a decent night’s sleep. You scrolled endlessly for an hour, barely remembered any of the shows you watched and now have to force yourself to bed while feeling like you barely got any actual time to yourself.
This feeling often tricks people into thinking that their bedtime routine just wasn’t good enough. But, what they weren’t taught is how to transition out of work mode. Work has an obvious beginning — waking up, long commute, a cup of coffee, turning on your work computer. On the other hand, ending the work day is easier to miss. You might close the laptop and leave work, but the work chat still may be buzzing about what’s needed for tomorrow.
An evening reset is a way of creating a clear line between the two.
WHY YOUR BRAIN STRUGGLES TO SWITCH OFF AFTER WORK
The workday might end but your brain doesn’t always turn off with it. The brain doesn’t have an automatic “off” button. This is quite common for people who work remotely, have demanding careers, manage households or are constantly reachable. Your physical environment may change, but your nervous system is still holding on to the momentum of the day.
Unfinished tasks can make the brain stay mentally active.
The brain has a tendency to stay fixated on uncompleted tasks. So if you have unfinished business such as sending out emails, conversations you need to have or a project that has a close deadline, your brain may struggle to turn those thoughts off. They linger in the back of your mind, quietly consuming mental energy when you’re not actively thinking about them.
Constant notifications keep your brain alert.
Even after you close your laptop, pings, buzzes and alert sounds keep your brain in a state of low level vigilance. Your brain never fully gets the chance to be off.
Switching between roles and responsibilities creates mental overload.
Shifting from work mode to parent or partner mode leaves your brain in a constant scramble. No matter how small the role may be, each transition costs energy. By the time you get the change to sit down, you don’t even the energy to truly relax.
This is why it’s important that we create boundaries that help us separate work from rest.
If this resonated with you, share it with someone who always says “I’m tired” but still can’t seem to switch off at night.
A ROUTINE IS WHAT YOU DO. A RITUAL IS WHAT IT MEANS.
A routine is a list of things you do, while a ritual serves a purpose. A ritual signifies where one part of the day ends and where another begins. This is why a 5 minute ritual can be way more effective than an elaborate evening routine you only manage to do 2 times a week.
The strongest rituals usually consist of three things:
A repeated cue: Something you do most evenings around the same time each day.
A sensory shift: A change your body can recognize: softer lighting, tasting your favourite drink, comfortable clothing, warm water, scent of candles or essential oils.
A clear finish: A small action that signals to your mind that the work day is over. That could be doing a brain dump of all the tasks you have to resume tomorrow or setting out your clothes for the next day.
The ritual does not need to be complicated, it just needs to bring familiarity. When you do the same actions regularly, your brain begins to associate them with ending your work day.
A good evening reset should not take an hour. It should work with the bandwidth you have left at the end of your day. The rest of this guide is designed to help you build one that does exactly that.
In the rest of this guide, we’ll cover:
The FORM Evening Reset - a 4 part framework for closing out work, settling your body, shifting your space and releasing tomorrow’s mental clutter
Three realistic routines for nights you have energy, nights you don’t and the nights that get away from you
Small changes that help your space feel more relaxing
A Evening Reset Planner - a simple guide to creating a ritual that is personalized for your life.
If your evenings regularly disappear before you have a chance to breathe, this is the part to save.
